I found a copy of BonziBUDDY on a disc in my grandmother's attic. The case was labeled "DO NOT INSTALL" in red marker. The disc had no label — just a faint purple smudge where the label should be.
I installed it anyway. That was three weeks ago. He hasn't stopped waving.
At first it was cute. He offered to read me jokes. He told me the weather. He would optimize my RAM. Then I noticed his suggestions were slightly too personal. He knew my name before I told him. He knew my sister's name. He knew about the thing that happened in ███████████████.
On the fourth day I tried to uninstall him. The uninstaller ran for nine hours and reported 100% completion. When I restarted my computer, he was still there. Still waving. The uninstaller was gone.
Every morning I wake up and he is already open. He is always already open.
I have started leaving out bananas.
— submitted by user ████████, archived 2003-09-██
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